Funny medical sayings

Though medical sayings are typically very specific, we have gathered for you understandable funny medical sayings. These are simple, selected from daily life and anecdotes sayings and quotes about diseases, pessimists, allergies.


The first pessimist congress took place in Moscow. It was decided to never meet again.

Why when you speak to God it’s called a prayer and when God talks to you – a schizophrenia.

Sclerosis is a good illness: there is no pain and you learn something new every day.

A well captured patient doesn’t need anesthetics.

Shut up – your dental filling will fall out.

All diseases are from stress, only syphilis from pleasure.

Eternal memory for people with sclerosis!

Depression is anger without enthusiasm.

I think I might be allergic to chocolate. When I eat too much of it my ass and my thighs get swollen.


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Know a good funny medical saying? Why don’t you share it with We appreciate every comment and proposal for funny sayings. Do share your sayings through the comments section at the end of this page.