Funny friendship sayings

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Funny friendship sayings:

Nothing makes you happier than your friend’s failure.

Friends come and go. Enemies pile up.

You don’t have to have friends; you just have to be friends with them.

My friend’s friend is my friend. My friend’s girlfriend is my friend. My friend’s boyfriend is just a scum.

It is good when a dog is your friend, but when your friend is a dog…

Occasionally, a true friend gives his paw not his hand…

Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes.

A friend is like a book: you don’t need to read all of them, just pick the best ones.

I would like to know when someone unfriends me on Facebook, so I could like it.

It’s a pleasure to see you and another – not to see.

Loneliness is when you get an e-mail but it’s from the newsgroup server.

‘Are you threatening me?’ ‘It depends, if you got scared – yes I am; if not – I’m only warning you…’

I found out about you from my last nightmare.

Maybe you need a ladder to climb out of my business?

I like the sound of you not talking.

Sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe

I’m not a Facebook status, you don’t have to like me.

I don‘t care what was said about me. Just tell me why they were so comfortable to say it to you.

I found your nose in my business again.

Some people only gets called by their nicknames. Usually it sounds weird to even say their real name.

Don’t tell a lot about yourself, behind your back will tell more interestingly about you.

If you can’t get someone out of your head then maybe they’re supposed to be there.

Sorry, I think I missed the reason why your opinion should be important.

You don’t have to worry about me cheating on you with your best buddies, because I have already slept with them before.

You are not too good to find a boyfriend on internet.

Do you think our friendship is strong enough to withstand pressing „dislike“ on Facebook?

Buddy, I wish you looked more like the emoji you’ve just sent to me.

You are my only friend to whom I would allow to put my earbuds in.

Don’t get upset, one day you’ll look back on your conflict with the girlfriend and you’ll still be mad about it.

50% of your Facebook friends confirmed your friend request only because of your profile picture.

Real friendship is as strong, as encryption of iPhone.

I think I wasn’t one of those friends, who is being thanked after missing someone’s party.

A perfect competition to celebrate Friendship day – compete to unfriend more friends on Facebook.

Mister, I’m sorry to tell you this, but your duck-face photos won’t help you find a girlfriend online.

Our platonic relationship really turns me on.

I wished I was blind when I came on a blind date with you.

Let’s hang out tonight just so that we didn’t need to go out together for the upcoming years.

Accept my apologizes for not coming to celebrate our friendship day because I was busy with doing nothing.

Thanks for being awkward enough to pay attention of others from how awkward I am.

If you listen to my problems I promise I will pretend listening to yours.

I just wanted to let you know that you have outstanding feeling about fashion knowing that you are a heterosexual.

I love you so much I don’t dislike you on Facebook though your boring posts take up 30% on my newsfeed.

I’m sorry you took it as a compliment when I compared your ass with Kardashian’s

I enjoyed meeting with you but I’m currently not in the status of making new friends.

Let’s pretend we didn’t block each other on Facebook.

You are single because you use too many emoticons in your buddy chats.

Let’s have a hot night together to end up our friendship.

If we are still single when we are 40 years old, let’s continue waiting together for someone better than each other.

True friendship is when you tell things sober what you wouldn’t tell the others even when being drunk.

Facebook is a great place to reconnect with the friends you actually don’t care about.

Sorry for calling you back so late but I had to arrange a good excuse why I won’t come to your birthday celebration.

I’m proud you made it through my regular cleaning of Facebook friends.

Thank you for being a friend of mine despite the fact that I’m the slowest person to enter a pool.

I hope we can still stay friends and have as sex as often as we had while we were still single.

Teamwork is a great structure is you want to blame someone else for not moving the project on.

True friend would never demand sending a thank you note.

Your best friend is the one you love talking to instead of about.

The good side of not having many friends – you’ll never be included in a group text.

Thank you for always making me show you the middle finger.

Ironically: thanks for being the one who is always beside me when you need something.

Thanks for being so optimistic when buying me underwear.

Your friendship is strong when you can cheat together on your diet.

A bigger person in the friendship is the one who apologizes even though he/she is not wrong.

The fact that your buddy is not listening to you gives you right to claim that you have told him something.

It’s been so long since we last threw up on each other.

How a true friend would help you keep your diet? He’d come and eat everything from your fridge.

I love watching fails compilations online – they remind me of you.

I bet we’ll stay good friends forever since none of us has grown up since college.

I wish you felt less comfortable sharing your problems with me.

I enjoy us working together since there’s always someone to talk to about me quitting the job.

For sayings, similar to funny friendship sayings, please visit?

Funny relationship sayings

Funny sayings about dating

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